A Dating Blog...

I never had to date. I met my ex through mutual friends whilst we were still at school. The era where you sent your best mate notes in class signed off Mrs... and then your fancy boys' surname! Backs of books would be filled with different versions of how your signature would look when you got married! Doing that now it's likely I would be locked up pretty swiftly, but back then it was the result of having a crush!

 I didn't even have a phone when we first met, so we got to know each other via MSN messenger, that nostalgic dial up tone would fill my ears whilst butterflies filled my tummy as I would wait for his name to appear on the pop up notification. The next few years involved our parents dropping us to each others houses, and going on shopping and cinema dates. I didn't know that the first time I hopped on the train into town to meet him would end up in a 10 year relationship. Developing the kind of love that utterly consumes your whole existence... Cue first love ♥
We lived our formative years together, growing up and growing into the people we were thought we were meant to be as young adults. He however had a very different view of how our future was going to look. So, in 2016 I was thrown into my late twenties as a single female who had literally no idea how to be without someone by my side; let alone having to date and get to know a complete stranger all over again.
A little while after we split, I was more shoved than welcomed into the world of dating and jeez what a journey!

4 years on I've rode the waves of self discovery ( no dating related pun intended!!!), I've truly discovered who I am as a stand alone individual, and not just as one that comes as a pair.
 I've dated younger guys, I've dated older guys and I've dated pretty much all in between!
I have been introduced to the wonders of ghosting and benching, and what it feels like to be rejected and to be the rejector. I would go as far as saying I have done the ground work when it comes to finding "The One".
I have gathered a bank of the most hilarious dating stories and I've lost count of the number of times friends have told me I need to write a book.

So whilst I can only hope one day I land a big book deal, for now here is my introduction into the wonderful world of my dating history over the last 48 months. I'm going to share my experiences, my tips ( purely my advice not a law to abide by) in the hope to make you smile and laugh along with me ( hopefully not too much at me!).

Online dating has become a disposable outlet to attempt to find your happy ever after. It comes with positive and negatives and I'm excited, albeit a little nervous to use this platform as an open space to share my experiences.

I would love to hear about your dating experiences in this modern world!

The Dirty Devil Stampede

Three weeks into 2020 and my first challenge is complete.

The thought of running through mud and icy water for 10 km seemed a task only mad, keen runners would participate in. That was until I found out its location... I couldn't have signed up quick enough once I realised the race was at Bovington Army Camp - burning calories whilst potentially bumping into my future husband seemed like a win win situation!!

Sadly there was no army hotties in sight, but the race itself was epic! Nothing short of an absolute blast that comes with running a Bustinskin event! There are races and then there are Bustinskin races.

For anyone who loves a good laugh with a great community of like minded crazy people I really recommend giving one of their races a go.
Home of Dorset's leading triathlon and events these guys go to great lengths to make sure everyone has an awesome and memorable day.
The race itself was called the Dirty Devil Stampede; which saw us tracing the tracks of the army tanks  (not at the same time I may add). There was ALOT of mud, some delightful icy puddles that reached up to your waist, and a clamber up the knife edge. The land is ordinarily reserved as an army training ground which certainly gave it an interesting terrain. For those who really did want to get down and dirty there was also a 20 km option too - Maybe next year!!!!

The Knife Edge

From now on when it comes to running races, i'm only really interested in running ones just like this; ones that have a little something about them. After all no one wants a life that's all too vanilla!!
My mindset with running has definitely shifted just lately, and I definitely noticed it was less of a slog this time round. It's never been an activity I've particularly enjoyed in the past, but I've learnt something that's similar to how i'm learning to live my life.
At my own pace.
Historically I used to try and keep up with someone, burning out in the first few miles and ending up feeling like a really bad runner. That was when I realised we all run over the same finish line and get the same medal. The real race is only with ourselves.

To be a runner all you actually need to do is pop on some trainers (and a damn good sports bra) put one step in front of the other at a slight pace. And guess what you're a runner. Who cares if you're not giving Paula Radcliffe a run for her money, you're doing it at your pace and that's what matters. The important part is you're enjoying your own journey and doing it your way.

What ever in life you're working on or training for right now, do so at your own pace. Have role models but don't compare yourself to someone else's journey. Don't wish for something someone else has, but work on what you have and what you want to bring to your life.

A little Intro...

Photo Credit: Ashleigh Mello - Instagram

In 2016 my life was flipped on it's head. A 10 years relationship was whipped from beneath my feet overnight (what a guy!!!). The life I currently knew was no longer mine, and the prospects of starting over were damn right terrifying.
Events that followed over the next few months only exacerbated those fears.. I did what I could to stay afloat. Seemingly a default setting of someone my age I was also suffering from anxiety and a severe lack of self confidence. (Stay with me, I promise i'm not a complete mood hoover!)
As someone who has always been super ambitious, to suddenly feel so lost is a scary feeling. I didn't know which way to turn, or what the next step looked like.

One thing I knew was that despite not knowing which direction I wanted to turn, or what the next chapter of my life looked like,  I refused just to stay still.
I started signing up for challenges... Sky dives, marathons and even signed up to return to college on an evening course.

Everytime I set myself these goals, tasks and sometimes absurdities, I was faced with the same questions from those around me -
" How on earth are you going to do that". My go to response was always W I N G I N G   I T !!
Even with medals in hand and a new diploma added to  my bank of qualifications, I still hadn't figured out which direction I wanted to head. I just knew I was winging it back to me.

I learnt the most about myself during these challenges. As someone who is a big worrier (the kind that worries that they have nothing to worry about somedays.... * there must be something*!!) I learnt to challenge my natural tendencies to worry, and turn them into excitement and intrigue.
One of the biggest challenges for me is to stop feeling like a situation has to be perfect before giving it a go. Embracing that fumbling through the unknown can sometimes be the most exciting part, where you gain the most personal growth and the incredible places it can take you.

One thing that has kept popping up over  the last few years was to restart a blog; a place to express my thoughts and experiences. Not to mention a place to document the somewhat hilarious dating experiences I was having.  I kept putting it off for the very fear of it not being perfect. For the fear of what people would say, and what people think. Well guess what.... that fear is being turned into that excitement and intrigue I've been working on. 2020 and turning 30 has kick started the year of getting s*** done.
So here I am Winging It through and seeing where life takes me next.

Have you had a similar experience where you've held yourself back for so long and then all of a sudden you get a burst of inspiration?